It's funny how when I start to consider forgetting about a career in ballet I'm forced to stop dancing for a few days. Is it God's way of making me appreciate it again, or is it affirming the need to change direction in my life? Who knows.
It started last Wednesday. I came home from my morning ballet class at college and following my normal routine I practiced pointe. I was breaking in a pair of shoes and needless to say I was in for some blisters, but this one was much worse than usual. It bled, which wasn't to out of the ordinary. What made it worse was how big it got and where it formed. It's actually slightly below the little toe on the outside of the foot. On my foot this spot rubs against the shoe extra bad. I thought I could just bandage it up, wrap some lambs wool around the area and be done. The next morning I started to put on my shoes and just doing that made me grit my teeth. I should have taken that as a sign but I thought it might be like most blisters that hurt at first but numb after dancing a while. I went up on pointe and gasped at the pain. It was to much, I had to take a break. So no pointe, but I could still go to ballet class in the afternoon.
As I was getting ready for math later that same day I smacked my little toe into my desk. It swelled up and the toenail almost came off. I hobbled to math class, but every time I took a step my toe didn't feel right at all. Walking to math class to sit down and dancing are two entirely different things, so I decided to skip ballet.
The next day I went to ballet because it was a college class and I didn't want to miss getting credit for showing up. It also happened to be my only pointe class that I have the whole week. Yes, I danced on pointe when I really shouldn't have. Yes, I was in horrible pain the whole time. Yes, it was stupid of me and made my blister bleed again. It hurt so bad that my heart started beating faster and my eyes started to tear. The next day I wasn't able to make it to my class at APA because it was super sensitive and it hurt to point my foot.
I didn't have to worry about anything Sunday and on Monday I woke up at six thirty ready to head off to ballet, but stopped abruptly by a call saying class was cancelled. So much for that, but all well my blister was still sensitive anyway.
Today I don't have ballet and I decided that to be on the safe side not to practice pointe. It's been nice getting a break. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. If it was going to come anytime it came at the right time. Maybe it's what I needed before I got to tired of ballet. With any luck I'll be able to go back to my ballet class tomorrow and dance with everything I have.