I'm so confused. Everything was supposed to get clearer after yesterday. I was going to get somewhere in life. Now it seems like I've run into yet another dead end.
I can't think of anywhere else to turn. I tried out the new studio yesterday. Honestly, it wasn't all that I thought it would be. I don't really know what to think of it. It wasn't terrible, and there are things about it that will be good for me. It still isn't a perfect fit though. Maybe it's not fair to pass judgment after one day. Maybe there is no perfect place. Or maybe this is my answer from above that I really shouldn't be a dancer. After all my searching there appears to be no alternatives that are worthwhile. I might as well give up and just take ballet classes for fun.
But I can't give up yet. I'm going to try it out again next week. Who knows, maybe it will turn out to be a great place for me. I also realize that no matter where I go there will be negative aspects. What I mean when I say perfect place, is the perfect place for me. The one where the good things about it match my desires and personality so much that the bad things can be dealt with.
You might be confused right now. It's okay so am I. I am going through an experience right now that is teaching me a lot, although I won't divulge very many details until the fog clears up a bit. I pray for God's will to be done and that it will be shown to me. I just want something to make sense. Not to say that my life has been this big mess, but lately I've had a lot of brilliant ideas that have gone nowhere. I'm just not sure of anything anymore.